Hers Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    HIS and HERS Road Trip HERS: Pulls off at wrong exit. opens window asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer Arrives at destination presently. HIS: Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case. Finally rolls down window just to get fresh airPulls up to a 7 -11 Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway. Gets back into car. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was. Almost hits a deer Curses the night Curses you Curses the large slurpee Drives and fiddles with radio. Yells at you for suggesting the map again Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway. He hates your sister. Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel He had to more...

    HIS and HERS Road Trip
    HERS:
    1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
    2. Opens window
    3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer
    4. Arrives at destination presently.
    HIS:
    1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.
    2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.
    3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.
    4. Finally rolls down window
    5. Hocks a loogie
    6. Pulls up to a 7 -11
    7. Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky
    8. Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.
    9. Gets back into car.
    10. Farts
    11. After he closes the door.
    12. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.
    13. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.
    14. Almost hits a deer
    15. Curses the night
    16. Curses you
    17. Curses the large slurpee
    18. Stops by the side of the more...

    His
    Pull up to ATM
    Insert card
    Enter PIN and account
    Take cash, card and receipt
    Drive away
    Hers
    Pull up to ATM
    Back up and pull forward to get closer
    Shut off engine
    Put keys in purse
    Get out of car because you're too far from machine
    Hunt for card in purse
    Insert card
    Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it
    Enter PIN
    Study instructions
    Hit "cancel"
    Re-enter correct PIN
    Check balance
    Look for envelope
    Look in purse for pen
    Make out deposit slip
    Endorse checks
    Make deposit
    Study instructions
    Make cash withdrawal
    Get in car
    Check makeup
    Look for keys
    Start car
    Check makeup
    Start pulling away
    Stop
    Back up to machine
    Get out of car
    Take card and receipt
    Get back in car
    Put card in wallet
    Put receipt in checkbook
    Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
    Clear area in purse for wallet and more...

    HIS
    Pull up to ATM
    Insert card
    Enter PIN number and account
    Take cash, card and receipt
    HERS
    Pull up to ATM
    Check makeup in rearview mirror
    Shut off engine
    Put keys in purse
    Get out of car because you're too far from machine
    Hunt for card in purse
    Insert card
    Hunt in purse for gum wrapper with PIN number written on it
    Enter PIN number
    Study instructions for at least 2 minutes
    Hit "cancel"
    Re-enter correct PIN number
    Check balance
    Look for envelope
    Look in purse for pen
    Make out deposit slip
    Endorse checks
    Make deposit
    Study instructions
    Make cash withdrawal
    Get in car
    Check makeup
    Look for keys
    Start car
    Check makeup
    Start pulling away
    STOP
    Back up to machine
    Get out of car
    Take card and receipt
    Get back in car
    Put card in wallet
    Put receipt in checkbook
    Enter deposits and more...

    HERS:
    -----
    1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
    2. Opens window.
    3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer.
    4. Arrives at destination presently.
    HIS:
    ----
    1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.
    2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.
    3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.
    4. Finally rolls down window.
    5. Hocks a loogie.
    6. Pulls up to a 7-11.
    7. Gets three hot dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky.
    8. Asks guy behind counter how to get back onto the highway.
    9. Gets back into car.
    10. Farts.
    11. After he closes the door.
    12. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.
    13. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because Habib El-Mahawatashmin back at the 7-11 said it was.
    14. Almost hits a deer.
    15. Curses the night.
    16. Curses you.
    17. Curses the more...

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