"Lock, Stock and Barrel" joke

Hot 1 year ago

An entrepreneur attended an auction at which he won the bid on an old safe. With dreams of a large fortune inside, he was told that the business from which the safe originated was so long defunct, that no one had the combination. Undaunted, he called a locksmith to try to get the safe open.

The first locksmith told the entrepreneur that it would cost forty dollars to open the safe intact. However, tried as he might, he couldn't open it, and told the wealthy man that he had lost his money in buying the safe.

The entrepreneur then contacted another locksmith, a crusty, bent old man with three days' growth of white whiskers, who took a long look at the safe, noted its manufacturer and retired to his truck. Shortly, he returned with a power drill, a ruler, and a small, bent piece of metal.

The locksmith measured a few inches from the dial and marked an "x" at the "2 o'clock" mark. It took more than half an hour for the old man to drill through the safe's door. He then took the bent metal, hooked it through the hole and fished around a few moments until a loud "CLICK" was heard. Turning the handle the door swung open slowly.

The safe was empty.

Disappointed, the entrepreneur turned to the locksmith and asked the charge for opening the safe.

"A hundred and twenty dollars," replied the locksmith.

"A hundred and twenty dollars?!" shouted the businessman, "That's outrageous! The other man only wanted forty! I want an itemized bill for it!"

"Okay." The locksmith turned on his heel and returned to his truck. A few minutes later, the entrepreneur was presented with a dirty piece of paper upon which the locksmith had written:

Charge for drilling hole: $20

Charge for knowing WHERE to drill hole: $100.

A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No."
- "Got any fresh vegetables?"
- "No. We have only canned and dry goods."
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh more...

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.

My wife says I never listen... or something like that...

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

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Anonym:I too am a locksmith dispatcher, and I know exactly what you mentioned. Although there are honest locksmiths, there are the dishonest ones out there too, who rip people off, and makes the whole industry look bad.
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Don:This joke was hilarious!!!! Being that I am a dispatcher at a locksmith company, I can understand the frustration of some people towards locksmiths. I think this is because the customer feels they are in a vulnerable position and really have no leverage to bargain with. I suggest that people requiring the services of a locksmith do their research; you should ask for business license numbers, and insurance information. We here at <a href="http://www.aaa-locksmith.com">AAA Locksmith</a> are registered with the Better Business Bureau, and have a proven track record of quality service, at reasonable rates in a timely manner. Anyway, thanks for the laugh and know that there are a few honest locksmiths out there!!!
Funny Joke? 26 vote(s). 88% are positive. 2 comment(s).