Yea Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Freudian Slip Ted and John are setting in the bar and John asked Ted if he bought the train tickets to go see the Steelers game this weekend. Ted says yea and kinda looked a little funny. John said is there anything wrong? Ted said naw, everythings OK. They take a few more sips of beer and Ted ask John if he had ever embarrassed himself by saying something he didnít mean to say. John said sure, it happens to everyone. Ted said thereís a name for that isnít there... you know, where you accidently use the wrong words when you are trying to say something. Yea, says John, itís called a Freudian slip. Yea, thats it said Ted, I couldnít think of the word. Why are you asking said John? Well, yesterday I went to the train station to get the train tickets for Pittsburg, and the girl selling tickets has this incredible set of jugs. I pulled out the money and laid it on the counter and asked her to give me two pickets to Titsburg and then had to embarrassingly say I mean two tickets to more...

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for adivorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said,"Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's." The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmersaid, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, youdon't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, Idon't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you havea grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where Ipark my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do youhave a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it in church onSundays." The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does yourwife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4: 30." Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. more...

141. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.


142. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.


143. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.


144. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1:
10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three... one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.


145. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.


146. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.


147. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.


148. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets more...

141. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool? A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. 142. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU? A: Too many blondes were drowning. 143. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box. 144. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. A2: Three... one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit. 145. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees. 146. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading. 147. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's. 148. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece. 149. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard. 150. Q: Why more...

A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce. Attorney: "May I help you?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces". Attorney: "Well do you have any grounds?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I got about a hundred acres." Attorney: "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" Hillbilly: "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." Attorney: "I mean, do you have a grudge?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere." Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" Hillbilly: "Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays." Attorney: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" Hillbilly: "No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning." Attorney: "Well, is she a nagger or anything?!?!?!?" Hillbilly: "No she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger. That's why I want more...