Wins Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number.The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."To which the man replied, "No sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.The Redneck said, "I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it."Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I WANT MY MONEY! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!''

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes toAustin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says "I want my $20 million."To which the man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way.We give you a million today, and then you'll get the restspread out for the next 19 years." The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money RIGHTnow! I won it, and I want it." Again the man patiently explains that he would only get amillion that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, IWANT MY MONEY! If you're not going to give me my $20million "right now," THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!!

Who wins most of the medals for bravery in Burger Land? The meatball heros!

India wins Cricket match; 120 people die of shock
Bihar sold to Pakistan; Resulted In an unrelated incident: Literacy
soars up to 86% in India and in another interesting incident Pakistan's
literacy rate also increases by 50 %.
Population Statistics: 42% - Literate, 58%- Politicians.
Flood in Bihar; 2 die of thirst.
India wins Gold in India versus Rest Of India Games
Poverty to be eradicated in India using Virtual Reality Software.
Laloo to be made National Animal.
Ramar Pillai produces Pottasium Permanganate from rice, water, a
stick and some Pottasium Permanganate.
No bombings in Kashmir today
Suit filed holding Sharad pawar responsible for Battle of
Panipat, 1526.
Doctorate conferred on Jayalalitha for completing 2 months in Jail
Death penalty upheld for Attempted Suicide victim.

Two sons were left a large piece of property by their father. For months they fought over how the land should be divided. Finally, they brought their problem to their rabbi and asked him to solve it.

"Come back tomorrow," said the rabbi, "and we'll talk."

The next day the sons returned and the rabbi gave them his solution.

"Toss a coin," he said to one of the brothers. "You call it, heads or tails," he said to the other. "The one who wins the toss, divides the land."

"That's no solution," said one of the brothers. "We're right back where we started from."

"Not so," said the rabbi. "The one who wins the toss divides the land; but the other gets first choice."

India wins Cricket match; 120 people die of shock Bihar sold to Pakistan; Resulted In an unrelated incident: Literacy
soars up to 86% in India and in another interesting incident Pakistan's
literacy rate also increases by 50 %. Population Statistics: 42% - Literate, 58%- Politicians. Flood in Bihar; 2 die of thirst. India wins Gold in India versus Rest Of India Games Poverty to be eradicated in India using Virtual Reality Software. Laloo to be made National Animal. Ramar Pillai produces Pottasium Permanganate from rice, water, a
stick and some Pottasium Permanganate. No bombings in Kashmir today Suit filed holding Sharad pawar responsible for Battle of
Panipat, 1526. Doctorate conferred on Jayalalitha for completing 2 months in Jail Death penalty upheld for Attempted Suicide victim.