Wino Jokes

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    The Old Wino

    Hot 8 months ago

    This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out. The tramp said that he would only leave if the barman gave him a cocktail stick. The barman, thinking this was a fair exchange, gladly gave the man a cocktail stick and watched him stagger back outside.
    A minute later another old wino walked into the bar and got asked to leave by the barman. This drunk also demanded a cocktail stick if he was to leave quietly. There had been no trouble the first time so, once again, the barman obliged and the old drunk quietly left.
    Soon after, a third wino came into the barman and without hesitation the barman offered him a cocktail stick to leave. This time though the drunk turned him down and said he would only leave if the barman gave him a drinking straw.
    Curiosity finally got the better of the barman and he asked the old drunk why he wanted a drinking straw when the other two drunks had asked for cocktail sticks.
    The wino said “Well, someone more...

    Rudolph the red nosed wino,
    Had a very shiny nose,
    And if you got too close to him,
    He would take off his clothes.
    All of the other winos,
    Used to laugh and call him names,
    They never let poor Rudolph,
    Join in any wino games.
    Then one chilly Christmas Eve,
    Rudolph froze to death in an alley.
    End of story.

    (To The Tune Of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer)
    Rudolph the red nosed wino,
    Had a very shiny nose,
    And if you got too close to him,
    He would take off his clothes.
    All of the other winos,
    Used to laugh and call him names,
    They never let poor Rudolph,
    Join in any wino games.
    Then one chilly Christmas Eve,
    Rudolph froze to death in an alley.
    End of story.

    The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
    A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk"
    The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
    "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
    Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."

    The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk"The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?""Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."

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