Warning Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day a priest and a nun went golfing.
The first hole the priest missed an extremely easy put. He shouted, "Damn, missed again."
The nun, shocked, warned him "God will get you for that."
The next hole the same thing occurred. After the priest screamed "Damn It! Missed again" the nun repeated her warning "God will get you for that!"
On the third hole, the priest again missed, and cursed, but before the nun could repeat her warning, A bolt of lightning came down from the heavens and struck the nun dead.
A deep voice from the clouds boomed out "Damn It! Missed again!".
One day a priest and a nun went golfing.
The first hole the priest missed an extremely easy
put. He shouted, "Damn, missed again."
The nun, shocked, warned him "God will get you for that."
The next hole the same thing occurred. After the preist screamed "God Damn
It! Missed again" the nun repeated her
warning "God will get you for that!"
On the third hole, the priest again missed, and cursed, but before the nun
could repeat her warning, a bolt of lightning came down from the heavens
and struck the nun dead.
A deep voice from the clouds boomed out "God Damn It! Missed again!".
One day a priest and a nun went golfing.The first hole the priest missed an extremely easy put. He shouted, "Damn, missed again."The nun, shocked, warned him "God will get you for that."The next hole the same thing occurred. After the priest screamed "Damn It! Missed again" the nun repeated her warning "God will get you for that!"On the third hole, the priest again missed, and cursed, but before the nun could repeat her warning, A bolt of lightning came down from the heavens and struck the nun dead.A deep voice from the clouds boomed out "Damn It! Missed again!".
At a recent Computer Expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating:
If GM had developed technology like Mircrosoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to re-install the engine.
5. more...
There was once a monastery and the friars there wanted a new bell for the bell tower. To raise enough money for the bell, the friars decided to start a florist shop. Well, word got out that some friars were opening a flower shop, and everyone wanted the friar's flowers! So they got great business and lots of money! Well, the other florists in that area weren't very happy because they were losing business. They sent a warning to the friars telling the friars that if they didn't stop selling flowers that they would send someone over to rough' em up! The friars ignored the warning. The next day however, the angry florists got together and hired a thug named Hugh. Hugh was big and strong! Hugh went to the friar's flower shop and beat the friars up and tore up their shop! So the moral to this story is: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars!
Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten, gagged, whipped and tortured.
Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
The FCC fielded 800,000 calls last week after the government mandated switch to digital television.
How can they just switch everyones television signal to digital without giving any kind of advance warning. They should have been running advertising warning people that this was going to happen.
This is why people hate the government. They just don't communicate with the citizens about what's going on in their country.
Because the government refuses to communicate with it's populous I'm going to step in and inform you that the government has a plan to thin out the population by imprisoning, sterilizing and even euthanizing stupid people.
The first 800,000 to be rounded up will be the idiots who called the FCC about the switchover to digital TV.