Vietnamese Jokes / Recent Jokes

This ethnic fellow Vietnamese buys a convertible one day from a local car dealer. Later the same night, the car dealer receives a phone call.

"Excuse me, but do you happen to have an extra set of keys for my new car? I seem to have locked mine in."

"Yeah, sure. Where are you?"

"Corner of Main and King."

"Okay. I'll be over in about half an hour."

"No, no! You have to come over right now!"

"Why?"

"Cause I left the roof down and it's starting to rain!!"

Actress Angelina Jolie plans to adopt a 4-year-old Vietnamese boy she chose on a recent visit to an orphanage near Ho Chi Minh city. The child should arrive in the U.S. in about three months - plenty of time for Jolie and partner Brad Pitt to prepare by setting up a nursery and getting rid of their "Platoon", "Full Metal Jacket" and "Missing in Action" dvd's.

A Pinoy went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol.

After a couple of beers, the Pinoy sensed that Spielberg was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Pinoy crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the director.

Picking himself up, he yelled, "Wat da hell is dat por?"

Spielberg ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you and My dad perished in that bombing!"

"Tang Na! I am not Jafanese, you stufid Nincomfoof! I am Filipino!" exclaimed the Pinoy.

The inebriated director replied, "Yeah yeah yeah. ... Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino. .. you are all the same."

Regaining his composure, the Pinoy dusted off his white pants, straightened the collar of his loud bird-of-paradise printed shirt, took his seat and ordered a more...

During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle.
The Sergeant said, "How'd you learn to shoot like that? Have you ever been in combat before?"
"Well suh," drawled the boy, "To be honest, this is my first public war."

A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions.

The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone.

The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle.

The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"

Back when Vietnam was still separated as North and South, the president of South Vietnam then was President Thieun.

As he was getting a lot of unfavorable treatment from his own country's news agencies, he invited Tara Singh, a journalist from Malaysia, to brief him about the setup of Bernama.
After Tara Singh had briefed the president about Bernama, the president was impressed. He declared that it was time for him to set up his own Bernama, to counter all the criticism he has been receiving lately.
Tara Singh politely said, "But Mr. President, the name' Bernama' is already used by Malaysia... maybe if you chose another name."
"Of course, you're right! I shall name it after myself then. It will be known as Thieunama! ! ", said the president.

Tara Singh nearly choked on that! " Ahh, Mr President, that may not be the best name. To the Cantonese speaking people, that name is a four-letter word concerning mothers," said more...

On a flight from Saigon to Los Angeles, an American sat beside a Vietnamese. American asked Vietnamese, "What kind of "ese" are you?"
Excuse me?"

"What kind of "ese" are you?"

"Excuse me, I don't understand what you meant."

"Stupid! Are you Vietnamese, Chinese or Japanese?"

"Oh! I am a Vietnamese."

After 2 hours. Vietnamese asked American: "What kind of "kee" are you?

"What? What do you mean by key?"

"Are you monkey, donkey or Yankee."