Verdict Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Reasonable Doubt

    Hot 2 years ago

    A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
    He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
    The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But more...

    Murder trial

    Hot 4 years ago

    A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.
    In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick:
    "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
    He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
    Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
    The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of more...

    Murder Trial

    Hot 5 years ago

    A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.

    "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!"

    He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

    Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

    With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and more...

    Both sides now

    Hot 4 years ago

    A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the
    defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the
    influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a
    jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the
    hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a
    dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.
    The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed
    the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10
    minutes and it was very clear that the defendent was guilty. The jury
    went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home,
    and everyone waited.
    After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and
    sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the
    verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they
    got a verdict more...

    /* OK, we won't have a Punny week again in a long time... :-) */
    It was a warn Southern California evening when the jury reached a verdict in the O. J. Simpson case. The nation was anxiously awaiting the jury's verdict and newsmen were rapidly arriving on the rumors that the decision would finally be announced. At that moment, Judge Ito was in his backyard Bar-B-Qing filet mignon for the family's evening dinner. The bailiff phoned the Ito residence and when Mrs. Ito answered, requested that the Judge be notified and suggested that the judge should return to the court house as soon as possible. Mrs. Ito refused the bailiff's request because, she insisted, "HIS HONOR WAS AT STEAK."
    A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?
    "That it is," more...

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