Foreman Jokes

Lemon Grove
A woman was applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove.
When the foreman looked over her application, he felt she was far too qualified for the job.
"Look, Miss Carter," said the foreman, "do you have any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Oh, yes, I certainly do," she replied. "I've been divorced four times."

A fella goes for a job in the Quality Assurance department at Durex. The foreman takes him' round the plant and shows him all the machinery and offers him the job.

"What will the role entail exactly?" Asks the interviewee.

"Well", says the foreman, "you have to check 1 in a hundred", and proceeds to remove one of the rubbers from the production line, stretches it, holds it up to the lights, then places it over his penis and calls the secretary over. She proceeds to hitch her skirt up, pull her knickers down and bends over. The foreman gives her a good rogering, after he's finished he removes the prophylactic, stretches it, holds it up to the light again to confirm no holes.

"Easy as that", he says.

"When do I start?" Asks the fella, unable to believe his luck.

"Monday, 8: 00 sharp!"

Naturally, our hero hardly sleeps a wink all Sunday night, and is outside the more...

Back in the old west, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The Manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job. Three groups responded. A team of Irishmen, a group of Italians, and a final team composed of Blondes. Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the project supervisor decided to assign each group to a different part of the line, and then see which team set the most poles. The first task was to set the poles. The Supervisor sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today, would receive a bonus. At the end of the day, the foreman of the Italians reported back to the Supervisor. The Supervisor inquired of him how many poles had been set by his team. He answered 48. The Supervisor was delighted. He advised the Italian to stay awhile until he heard how the Irishmen and the Blondes had done... Next to report more...

A large oil field in Oklahoma suffers a disaster in the form of a huge rig
fire. The foreman, desperate to curtail the blaze, thumbs through the phone
book for Red Adair's number (Red is a famous oil-firefighter). Foreman finds
the number, calls, and is told that Red is unavailable, since he's fighting an
off-shore rig fire in Southern California.
Desperate, the foreman returns to the book and finds, listed under Red Adair,
a "Red ," advertising rig fire services at $100 per
hour. Since this is CONSIDERABLY cheaper than Adair anyway, the guy calls and
describes the situation. He is assured that someone will be on the scene
within the hour.
True to his word, within 45 minutes the foreman sees a vehicle approaching the
scene of the blaze at top speed. As it gets closer, he notes that it is a
grungy '68 pickup, with a load of JEDRs in the back. Without slowing,
the pickup drives directly into the middle of the fire, everyone more...

A blonde travels to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She meets a foreman of a logging organization who offers to give her a job. "Now, I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back drenched in sweat. "Geez lady, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman. "6" she replied. "What!? You have to do better than that. Get up earlier tomorrow!" So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. "How many this time?" asked the foreman. "12" she said. The foreman says, "That does it. I'm coming out there with you tomorrow morning!" The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, "This is how to cut down trees really quickly." He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud more...