UFO Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO". The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?" he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds. "It stands for' Unleaded Fuel Only'."

    [Notice on an Internet newsgroup] I have met a person who is writing a book on UFOs, and wants to have a chapter on UFO encounters by pets. If your pets have had such experiences, please contact me by private email, and I can get you in contact with the author.
    "I hit a cat with a Zippo one time because it was considering going after a bird. The cat didn't know what it was. Does that count?"

    A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young, blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.

    "Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.

    "Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?"

    "Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"

    "Yeah," repeated the blonde. "So?"

    "Didn't you see the letters' UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"

    "Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

    "Don't you know what' UFO' means?!"

    The blonde attendant rolled her eyes. more...

    Continued from Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home?
    (Check appropriate box)
    Total number of vehicles you own: ___
    Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
    Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
    Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
    Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___
    Firearms you own and where you keep them:
    ____ truck
    ____ bedroom
    ____ bathroom
    ____ kitchen
    ____ shed
    Model and year of your pickup: 196_
    Do you have a gun rack?
    (_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain:
    Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
    (_) The National Enquirer
    (_) The Globe
    (_) TV Guide
    (_) Soap Opera Digest
    (_) Rifle and Shotgun
    Number of times you've seen a UFO: _____
    Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis: _____
    Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO: _____
    How often do you bathe:
    (_) Weekly
    (_) Monthly
    (_) Not Applicable
    Color of more...

    Y'might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call per day"

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