Trees Jokes / Recent Jokes
Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1970:
A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set M is 100. Each element of M is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set M. The set C, the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set M. Represent the set C as a subset of set M and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?
Teaching Math in 1980:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math in 1990:
By cutting down beautiful forest more...
A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word definitely' in a sentence?"
First little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher says, "Sorry Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange depending on the weather."
Second, a little boy says, "Trees are definitely green."
"Sorry, but in the autumn many trees are brown or gold," said the teacher.
Little Matthew, from the back of the class, stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."Matthew! That's disgusting, of course not!!!"
"OK... then I DEFINITELY shit my pants."
A football coach was asked his secret of evaluating raw recruits.
"Well," he said, "I take 'em out in the woods and make 'em run.
The ones that go around the trees, I make into running backs. The ones that run into the trees, I turn into linemen."
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!" Blonde
Blonde in a car "There was a blonde driving in a car and suddenly a tree popped up in front of her, so she swerved then another tree popped up infront of her right in the middle of the road so she swerved again and she kept swerving and dodging the trees untill she stopped.
When a cop came and asked her what happened she told him all about the trees and he looked at her and laughed and he said that it was the little tree decoration hanging from the review mirror
Money may not grow on trees, but it would seem as if morons like you certainly do.
When you dress it up with silver and gold, it doesn't look like a cheap hooker.
A Christmas tree will never complain if you compare it to another bush.
A Christmas tree will stay up late, watch a porno with you, and won't say, "Hey, look at the size of that dick... I didn't know they made 'em that big!"
Christmas trees actually like when you use exotic electrical devices.
A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have a plastic one in the closet.
It always smells fresh as a forest.
A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day or go to a strip club after work.
A Christmas tree doesn't get possessive if you want to let your neighbor use your balls.
You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.
When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas more...