When pigs get a toothache, who do they see?' Painless Porker.
When pigs get a toothache, who do they see? Painless Porker.
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are;
- You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape.
- Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
- If you woke up more...
Toothache: the pain that drives you to extraction.
A man has a toothache, so he goes to see his dentist.
After examining the tooth, the dentist tells the man he is going to have to give him an injection for the pain.
The man says, "No way! I don't want an injection."
The dentist replies, "OK, I'll give you gas."
"Noooo!" shrieks the man. "I don't want any gas."
"Fine," says the dentist, "I'm going to give you some Viagra!"
"Viagra?" exclaims the man. "What for?"
"You're going to need something to hang on to when I pull your tooth!"