Tongue Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Alternative Cybersex

    Hot 11 months ago

    This is one of the funniest pieces I have ever come across. It is apparently from a real log...
    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
    Wellhung:Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
    Sweetheart:I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
    Wellhung:I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.
    Sweetheart:I want you. Would you like to screw more...

    Ticklish Tongue

    Hot 4 years ago

    Patient: My tongue tingles when I touch it to a cracked walnut wrapped in aluminum foil, what's wrong with me? Doctor: You have far too much free time!

    HEADLINES

    Hot 1 year ago

    HEADLINES
    1. Heroic dog drags problem child back into burning building.
    2. Solar eclipse – Public says affirmative action taken overboard.
    3. Half bodied lady rolls to Zimbabwe for free water.
    4. Dead fish threat in sushi shop.
    5. Heroic police officer risks life and limb rearming bomb in Mugabe's suit.
    6. Food poisoning caused by raw sushi.
    7. Solar eclipse canceled due to full schedule.
    8. Gay cow rapes sheep… twice.
    9. Cow turns out to be Australian in cow costume.
    10. Retard knocked over by parked car.
    11. New Zealand man re-united with sheep father.
    12. Retard turned fugitive after failed suicide.
    13. Happy- unhappy.
    14. Baby carrot run over, Doctors fear he could be a vegetable.
    15. AIDS aids elderly man, adds seven years to life.
    16. Sleeping man died on the job.
    17. Iraq! The bomb to be.
    18. Miracle leper goes missing after hot water turns to soup.
    19. Man loses only left foot.
    20. Baby goes more...

    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex.

    Then again, maybe he does...

    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to fuck me?

    Wellhung: OK

    Sweetheart: We're in my more...

    A guy boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat.He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes, mind if I ask how you got yours? Other guy: "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident.See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the hugest tits in the world was there. So, instead of saying 'I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh', I accidentally said 'I'd like a Picket to Tittsburgh.' And then she socked me one."First guy: "Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife: 'Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties.' But I accidentally said:'You ruined my life you fuckin' bitch!'"

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