1. Heroic dog drags problem child back into burning building.
2. Solar eclipse – Public says affirmative action taken overboard.
3. Half bodied lady rolls to Zimbabwe for free water.
4. Dead fish threat in sushi shop.
5. Heroic police officer risks life and limb rearming bomb in Mugabe's suit.
6. Food poisoning caused by raw sushi.
7. Solar eclipse canceled due to full schedule.
8. Gay cow rapes sheep… twice.
9. Cow turns out to be Australian in cow costume.
10. Retard knocked over by parked car.
11. New Zealand man re-united with sheep father.
12. Retard turned fugitive after failed suicide.
13. Happy- unhappy.
14. Baby carrot run over, Doctors fear he could be a vegetable.
15. AIDS aids elderly man, adds seven years to life.
16. Sleeping man died on the job.
17. Iraq! The bomb to be.
18. Miracle leper goes missing after hot water turns to soup.
19. Man loses only left foot.
20. Baby goes missing after mysterious red mark on jet engine.
21. Letter paper cuts tongue. Tongue amputated.
22. English professor proves that "wow" can be written backwards.
23. Cat dies. Owner claims "She still had four lives left".
24. Cradle snatcher "Peter" questioned about missing files.
25. Rolling Stones, 20 die.
26. Bill Cosby sues Trigonometry institute about over use of his name. (Cos b).
27. Miss interpretation of Rolling Stones causes havoc in valley of death.
28. Mom gets heart attack after finding dandruff on girl's school shoes.
29. Boy found naked, Rabi not far behind.
30. Porno billboard causes 1000 car pileup.
31. Circumcision turns to castration at initiation service Doctor says "It is crime stop.
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