Temperature Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?" In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam paper contained the question: "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you
    are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. more...

    CAT User's Manual

    Hot 6 years ago

    CAT v.6.1b: Completely Autonomous Tester, Manufactured by MOMCAT
    User Installation and Maintenance Documentation:
    Features:
    User Friendly
    Low Power CPU
    Self Portable Operation
    Dual Video and Audio Input
    Audio Output
    Auto Search Capability for Input Data
    Auto Search for Output Bin
    Auto Learn Program in ROM
    Instant Transition To Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use
    Wide Operating Temperature Range
    Mouse Driven
    Self Cleaning
    Production Details:
    After basic KIT construction, the unit undergoes six weeks of
    onsite ROM programming and burn-in testing. Listed features are
    installed during this period. Since MOMCAT uses local suppliers,
    there may be a variation between individual units. Some of the
    units may not meet general standards. MOMCAT's quality assurance
    may reject inferior units. Users may sometimes salvage rejected
    units. Beware of Far East clones. These may violate more...

    The farmer and the devil

    Hot 6 years ago

    A farmer from the wheat fields of Washington state dies and goes to Hell. While down there the Devil notices that the farmer is
    not suffering like the rest. He checks the gauge and sees that it's 95 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes over to the
    farmer and ask why he's so happy. The farmer says, "The temperature is just like plowing my fields in June."
    The devil isn't happy with the farmer's answer and decides to "get" him, so he goes over to his controls and turns up the
    temperature to 105 degrees and the humidity to 90%. Afterwards he goes looking for the farmer. . . He finds him standing
    around just as happy as can be. The Devil asks the farmer, again, why he's so happy. The farmer replies, "This is even better,
    it's like pulling weeds in the fields during July."
    The Devil, now upset, decides to really make the farmer suffer. He goes over to the controls and turns the heat up to 115
    degrees and the more...

    A big shot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The redheaded nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth."No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!" She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.After almost an hour, the man's more...

    A bigshot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
    The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She walked into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."
    After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
    "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."
    This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
    After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
    She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After more...

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