Tavern Jokes / Recent Jokes

So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings."

Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern.To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said "Mike, I'll be havin'three whiskeys."Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. "Now, Timothy, it's not the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. It'scelebratin', you are."Ahh, ye know me too well, Micheal, ye do. Truth, and I'm celebratingme first blow job."Callahan smiled benevolently and set a fourth glass on the bar."Now, that's special," he said. "For an old customer like y'rself, here's a fourth on the house, so I may be sharin' your celebrationwith you."Shandy shook his head, and replied "'Tis verra kind of ye, Micheal, but I'm thinkin' if three won't get rid of the taste, four won'teither."

A police officer stopped a young man for speeding. He stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew driving so fast for boy? You going to a fahhr? Let me see your license, boy." The young man handed over his license. Then the officer noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?" The young man replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler." The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!" The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint. Two more...

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...the bartender looks up and says " where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies " Over in Africa, there's millions of them "! !!!

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...thebartender looks up and says " where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies " Over in Africa, there's millions of them " !!!