Tavern Jokes / Recent Jokes

A taxidermist
is on vacation down south. He is feeling
a little thirsty and decides
to have a few drinks at the
nearest tavern. Upon entering the tavern,
the conversation
stops and all eyes turn to him.
Feeling a little uneasy,
he makes his way to the bar to
order a beer. The bartender serves him
and says, "Ya'll
ain't from 'round these parts, is ya?"
Guy: "No...I
am from Connecticut."
Bartender: "What is it you do up there in Connecticut?"
Guy: "Well, I am a taxidermist."
Bartender: "A taxidermist...Hey Al, you ever hear of a taxi-
dermist?"
Al: "No, never heard of it."
Bartender: "So Mr. Taxidermist, what is it you do exactly?"
Guy: "Well, I mount dead animals."
Bartender: "It's OK boys-he's one of us!".

An elderly couple are enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a
small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the
first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this
tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you.
"Yes," she says, I remember it well.
"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake.
"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.
They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the more...

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and ask his wife .
Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you.
"Yes", she said, "I remember it well."
"Ok", he says "How about taking a stroll around there again and do it for old time sake ."
"Ooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea", she answers.
There was a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this and having a chuckle to himself. he thinks,"I've got to see this, two old-timers having sex against a fence, I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. He follows them...
They walked haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks, Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make thier way to the fence. The old lady more...

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we made love together over fifty years a go? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you."
"Yes," she says, "I remember it well."
"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake."
"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers make love against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.
They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the more...

A husband leans over to his wife in a bar and says, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over 50 years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes," she says. "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good, idea!" she says.

There's a man sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.

So he follows them behind the tavern. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly, they erupt into the most furious sex that the more...

At the tavern
Abe walks into the local tavern and sees his friend Moishe sitting at the bar. He puts his hand to his heart and yells: "Oy vey, Moishe! I`m so sorry to hear about your shop burning down."
Moishe spun around quickly and whispered, "Shhhh..... it`s tomorrow!!!"

A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?" The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish." "Okay," said the guy. He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it. Poof. Out came a genie. The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish." The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared. In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him. The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't want a million ducks." The bartender replied, "Do you think I wanted a twelve-inch Pianist?"