Tapping Jokes

Sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town

You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why,
Santa Claus is tapping,
Your phone.

He's buggin your room,
He's reading your mail,
He's keeping a file
And runnin a tail
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone

He hears you in the bedroom
Surveils you out of doors
And if that doesn't get the goods
Then he'll use provocateurs.

So you mustn't assume
That you are secure
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone...

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better not pout;
I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.
He's bugging your room,
He's reading your mail,
He's keeping a file
And running a tail.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.
He hears you in the bedroom,
Surveills you out of doors,
And if that doesn't get the goods,
Then he'll use provocateurs.
So - you mustn't assume
That you are secure.
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better not pout;
I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.
He's bugging your room,
He's reading your mail,
He's keeping a file
And running a tail.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.
He hears you in the bedroom,
Surveills you out of doors,
And if that doesn't get the goods,
Then he'll use provocateurs.
So - you mustn't assume
That you are secure.
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better not pout;
I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone. He's bugging your room,
He's reading your mail,
He's keeping a file
And running a tail.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.He hears you in the bedroom,
Surveills you out of doors,
And if that doesn't get the goods,
Then he'll use provocateurs.So-you mustn't assume
That you are secure.
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

Two Ponca men were sitting out on a back road visiting. All at once there was a tapping on the window."Ah Hoh!" "Hey guy!" "I think there is a ghost tapping on the window!"Sure enough a wizened face with long flowing white hair was there just out side the window.The Ponca man driving shoved his foot down on the gas and immediately was doing 60 miles and hour."Step on it!" "He's still out there!" And sure enough, there was another tapping at the window.The driver shoved his foot to the floor again! This time he was doing ninety (90) miles an hour.Still the ghostly figure tapped on the window."You better giver' er some more gas!" "He's still out there.""I can't go any faster, I've got her up to 120 miles an hour.About that time the little old man motioned for the passenger to roll the window down, which he did."Say Boys!" "I was wanting to know, do you need a shove to get out of this mud hole?"