Taliban Jokes / Recent Jokes

Late Nite Jokes heard on T. V." There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who wears Bounty on his head." - Jay Leno"We are starting to learn more about Osama bin Laden. For his birthday one year, somebody gave him a $4 Timex. We know that. He is married to the daughter of a guy named Mullah Muhammed Omar. I think her name is Tiffany Omar. Insiders say that the marriage is not working out. Apparently they are living in separate caves." - David Letterman"It looks like now the military action is taking effect. They think that bin Laden's organization is starting to break down. Today satellite photos actually show the sand fleas are leaving his beard." - David Letterman"There are now rumors that the Taliban has been poisoning the food we have been dropping. We should make a deal with the people of Afghanistan. We'll taste your food, you check our more...

MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THIS SATURDAY!!!



AS YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW, IT IS A SIN FOR A TALIBAN MALE TO SEE ANY WOMAN OTHER THAN HIS WIFE NAKED, AND THAT HE MUST COMMIT SUICIDE IF HE DOES.



SO THIS SATURDAY AT 4 P. M. EASTERN TIME ALL AMERICAN WOMEN ARE ASKED TO WALK OUT OF THEIR HOUSE COMPLETELY NAKED TO HELP WEED OUT ANY NEIGHBORHOOD TERRORISTS.



CIRCLING YOUR BLOCK FOR ONE HOUR IS RECOMMENDED FORTHIS ANTI-TERRORIST EFFORT.



ALL MEN ARE TO POSITION THEMSELVES IN LAWN CHAIRS IN FRONT OF THEIR HOUSE TO PROVE THEY ARE NOT TALIBAN AND TO DEMONSTRATE THAT THEY THINK IT IS OKAY TO SEE NUDE WOMEN OTHER THAN THEIR WIFE AND TO SHOW SUPPORT FOR ALL AMERICAN WOMEN.



AND SINCE THE TALIBAN ALSO DOES NOT APPROVE OF ALCOHOL, A COLD 6-PACK AT YOUR SIDE IS FURTHER PROOF

OF YOUR ANTI-TALIBAN SENTIMENT.



THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT APPRECIATES YOUR EFFORTS TO ROOT OUT more...

How do you stop a taliban tank? Shoot the Guy Pushing it

The Taliban's Fall TV Line-upMONDAYS: 8: 00 - "Husseinfeld"8: 30 - "Mad About Everything"9: 00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"9: 30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"10: 00 - "Allah McBeal"TUESDAYS: 8: 00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"8: 30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"9: 00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"9: 30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"10: 00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"WEDNESDAYS: 8: 00 - "U. S. Military Secrets Revealed"8: 30 - "Bowling For Food"9: 00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"9: 30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"10: 00 - "Veilwatch"THURSDAYS: 8: 00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"8: 30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"9: 00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"9: 30 - "My Two Baghdads"10: 00 - more...

Q. What`s the difference between Elvis and Osama Bin Laden?
A. Osama is a dead man!
Q. What do Monica Lewinsky and Osama Bin Laden have in common?
A. They both blew a power structure!!
To catch Osama Bin Laden, Grandpa sez:
Spray Afghanistan with Viagra and the little prick will pop up!
Q. Why does Osama Bin Laden collect goat shit?
A. Because it`s a great growing culture for anthrax, and it makes terrific deodorant.
Q. Why did Osama fire Martha Stewart?
A. She was unable to find fabric that went with stalagmites.
Q. What do you call a Taliban with a goat and a sheep?
A. Bisexual.
Q. Why did the Taliban school alternate Sex Education classes with Drivers Ed.?
A. They only had one camel.
Q. What`s another name for the DaisyCutter bomb?
A. The TaliWhacker.
Q. Why do the Taliban wear robes?
A. A goat can hear a zipper a mile away.
Q. Know what the Taliban do for fun?
A. Sit around and get more...

Sung to the tune of "Day-O" (The Banana Boat Song)
Day-O...oh Day-O,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Run Mr Taliban, we know where you're hiding,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Hey USA, USA, USA...
Air force come and they flatten you home
60ft, 70ft, 80ft craters,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Old Uncle Sam's pissed, he ain't no quitter,
Air force come and they flatten your home
When we finish you all be crying,
Air force come and they flatten your home,
Pilot is brother of New York fireman
Air force come and they flatten your home

Sung to the tune of "Day-O" (The Banana Boat Song)Day-O...oh Day-O, Air force come and they flatten your homeRun Mr Taliban, we know where you're hiding, Air force come and they flatten your homeHey USA, USA, USA...Air force come and they flatten you home60ft, 70ft, 80ft craters, Air force come and they flatten your homeOld Uncle Sam's pissed, he ain't no quitter, Air force come and they flatten your homeWhen we finish you all be crying, Air force come and they flatten your home, Pilot is brother of New York firemanAir force come and they flatten your home