Taker Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    100 Ways to annoy the pizza guy
    1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
    2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
    3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
    4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
    5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
    6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
    7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
    8. Answer their questions with questions.
    9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
    10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
    11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
    12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of more...

    Numbers Only

    Hot 3 years ago

    The census taker rang the doorbell and was greeted by an attractive blonde woman. He explained he was from the Census Bureau and wanted to know how many were in the family.
    "Let's see now," she said, twirling a strand of her hair, "there's me, my husband, and our children Beth, Steven, Aaron, Janice, Caroline, Will... "
    "I'm not interested in names," the census taker interrupted, "numbers will be sufficient."
    "Oh, we don't use numbers," she replied. "We haven't run out of names yet!"

    What It Means

    Hot 3 years ago

    Five year old Becky answered the door when the Census taker came by.She told the Census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home, because he was performing an appendectomy."My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?""Sure! Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anaesthesiologist!"

    A blonde was sitting on her porch, when a man approached her with a pad and pencil in his hand.
    "Can I help you?" asked the blonde. "Are you selling something?
    "No, I'm not selling anything," replied the man. "I'm a Census Taker."
    "You're a what?" the puzzled blonde asked.
    "A Census Taker. We're trying to find out how many people are in the United States," explained the man.
    "Well, you're wasting your time here," the blonde replied. "I have no idea!"

    A census taker, working in a rural area, knocked on a farmhouse door. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.
    "Well, let's see now," she replied. "There's the twins, Sue and Lou, they're seventeen. And the twins, Jason and Mason, they're thirteen. And the twins, Maureen and Doreen, they're eleven... "
    "Hold on!" said the census taker. "Did you get twins every time?"
    "Oh heavens, no!" the woman replied. "There were hundreds of times we didn't get nuthin'"

  • Recent Activity