Swollen Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into the bathroom and sees another guy standing at the urinal with no arms. the guy goes, "man, u really gotta help me man!!! i really gotta go to the bathroom but as u can see i aint got no arms!" so the other guy hesitates, looks around, and then unzips the guys fly 4 him. "well, could... could you get it out for me?" so the other guy sighs, looks around, and gets ready to pull it out when, he notices its all swollen and scabby and infected. with a bad look, he takes it out quickly and gets ready to leave when he asks, "could- could you hold it for me?" the guy gets ready to say no, but, seeing the situation, he felt sorry for the guy. so, he looks around again, and holds it. so the guy does is businuss and gets all done. so when the guy gets ready to leave again, the other guy says, "well um... could u put it back in?" so the guy looks around once again, hesitates and puts it back in. "thanks man! thanks!" he says. the more...

The attached was sent to me by a medical associate. It's not terribly funny but somewhat amusing. All I can say is: "OUCH!!!"
One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's problems." The patient was pale, febrile, feverish and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of torn, black and blue scrotal skin.
After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts and two or three yards of foul smelling stained gauze, wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.
Amid the matted hair, edematous (swollen) skin and various exudates, I saw some half buried dark linear objects and asked more...