Swims Jokes / Recent Jokes

there was this blonde, brunet, and a red head they had to swim a 100 meter lake.the red head swims arcoss and said that was along way the brunet said said the same .then the blonde swims 50 miles and said im tired and swam back!!!

A blonde a redhead and a brunette are all stuck on an island. So the redhead swims 1/4 the way gets tired and drowns. The brunette swims 1/2 the way gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims 3/4 the way gets tired and swims back.
The End

Ok, so there are three girls on a sinking island, there is another island 20 miles away, the three girls are a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette swims 5 miles and drowns. the redhead swims 11 miles and drowns. The blonde swims 19 miles, gets tired and swims back to the sinking island! (Idiot.)

A male whale and his girlfriend were swimming around in the ocean, when all of a sudden, the male whale catches sight of a whaling vessel in the distance. He takes a closer look, and recognizes it as the ship that harpooned his parents many years ago.
So, he turns to his girlfriend and tells her that he wants to avenge the death of his parents. She hesitates, knowing that they could become the next victims of the vessel, but he reassures her and tells her that he has been planning this all of his life, and he swims over and whispers the plan to her.
So, she agrees and they swim up under one side of the boat, and they both start blowing air through their blow holes. The boat starts to rock back-and-forth, and the sailors on the ship are scrambling all over the deck.
Finally the boat tips over, and the sailors are scattered through the ocean. The male whale is delighted and starts to gobble up the sailors, but the female whale starts to swim away. So the male whale swims more...

A male whale and his mate were swimming around in the ocean, when all of a sudden, the male whale catches sight of a whaling vessel in the distance.
He takes a closer look, and recognizes it as the ship that harpooned his parents many years ago. So, he turns to his girlfriend and tells her that he wants to avenge the death of his parents.
She hesitates, knowing that they could become the next victims of the vessel, but he reassures her and tells her that he has been planning this all of his life, and he swims over and whispers the plan to her.
So, she agrees and they swim up under one side of the boat, and they both start blowing air through their blow holes. The boat starts to rock back-and-forth, and the sailors on the ship are scrambling all over the deck.
Finally the boat tips over, and the sailors are scattered through the ocean. The male whale is delighted and starts to gobble up the sailors, but the female whale starts to swim away...
So the male whale swims more...

A little boy's dog swims out to see and gets into difficulties in the big waves.
The little boy screams: "Help! Help! My little dog is drowning!"
A passing rabbi hears his pathetic cries, sees the poor dog and leaps into the sea fully clothed. He swims out, grabs the dog, swims back to shore and gives to dog mouth-to-mouth. The dog is saved and runs off happily.
"O thank you, thank you," says the little boy. "You must be a vet."
"Am I a vet? I'm a-soaking," exclaims the rabbi.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are stranded on a deserted island 20 miles from shore. They decide to try to swim to shore. The brunette swims 7 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The redhead swims 10 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde swims 19 miles, gets tired, and swims back.