Swims Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day this rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded, and he had everything: money, a big house in Beverly Hills, drugs, girls, cars, planes -- anything he wanted. The guy was also a little eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles.
So there he was, he and his friends all standing around drinking, getting high and partying next to the pool. The guy gets up on the lifeguard tower and all his friends look up.
He calls for silence and says, "OK, the first person that swims across my pool will get all my money."
No one moves. The guy looks over the crowd, draws on his joint and says, " OK, the first person that swims across my pool gets all my money and my house."
Still no one moves. "OK then, the first person that swims across my pool gets all my money, my house and all my cars and planes."
Still, no one moves, not even a eye blinks this time. "OK then, all my money, my more...
Three girls are stranded on an island. A black hair, a burnette and a blonde hair. The black haired one spots land a mile out. So they decided to take turns swimming there. The black swims 1/2 way and drowns. The brown swims 1/4 way and drowns. The blonde swims 3/4 way, decides she's tired, and swims back.
A blonde was stranded on a desert island so she swims half way back to the main land gets tired so she turns around and swims back.
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. Prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area.
Finally one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark - then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..." As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hits the water and lo and behold, Justin turns into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swims away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them, Justin hardly realizing that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
During the next tropical storm, Justin figures that the same lightening force more...
A red head, a brunette, and a blond are stranded on an island.
first the red head says im going to get off this stupid island, and jumps in the water swims 1/4 of the way to land and gets tired and drowns.
the Brunnette also decides to leave and jumps in the water swims 1/3 of the way gets tired and drowns.
The blond says well i might as well try, and jumps in the water swims 1/2 of the way, gets tired and swims back.
An elephant and ant were friends. They decided to go to swimming. They went to a swimming pool but when the ant swims the elephant sits and when elephant swims the ant sits. why?
Ans: Because they have only one swimming costume.