Stupid Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bill, Jim & Scott were at a convention together & were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken & they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Bill said to Jim & Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way."
At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes & Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing & Scott began to tell sad stories.
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!!!
Buckwheat and Darla were in school and the teacher asked Darla,' How do you spell' dumb'?" Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb." The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence." She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb." "Now spell' stupid'." Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d." The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence." Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid." Then the teacher call on Buckwheat and asks, "Buckwheat, spell dictate." Buckwheat stands up and says, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate." The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in the a sentence." "I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"
Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron!
The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?"
Says the 1st atom, "I'm positive."
~~
Editor's note: I find it personally amusing that this joke is simultaneously an Intellectual joke, yet one of the stupidest jokes I've heard...
This fellow who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.
While standing in the middle of the RR tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.
Predictably, he's hit -- but, only a glancing blow -- and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party, one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the tea kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man:' Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?'
The desert man replies:' Man, you gotta kill these things when more...
A man met his friend in a shopping centre. The friend had a look at his feet and asked, "Why are you wearing one red and one black sock"? The man paused for a moment then said, "I have married this stupid woman. She buys funny things. I have another pair like this at home".
There's three men,
one singhala, one tamil, and one stupid white guy,
looking for the famous genie in the lamp.
Somewhere they find this lamp.
Upon rubbing it,
the genie comes out and grants the three men,
three wishes--one for each.
Since we all know white people rule the world,
the genie first asked the stupid white guy
for his wish.
Whitey thought and thought and thought
and finally said, "Let the other two go first."
Since white people rule the world, the genie obeyed.
Since S come before T,
he asked the Singala guy for his wish.
"I want one of the stupidest wars in history
to stop," said the singhala guy.
The Genie replied, "Wish granted."
And so it was.
The singhala guy was wisked back home, happy.
Then the genie asked the tamil guy for his wish.
"I want the war in Lankava to end,"
the tamil guy said.
"The other guy more...