Stuffed Jokes / Recent Jokes

After being away on business for a couple of months, a salesman was finally on his way home. Feeling bad about having been away from his children for such a lengthy time, he stopped by a pet store and bought them an adorable little puppy.
Unfortunately, as he was about to board his flight, he was stopped by a flight attendant who told him that they did not allow animals.
In desperation, the man rushed to the men's room and stuffed the puppy down the front of his pants. He put on his overcoat to cover up and then boarded the plane.
When the flight attendant was making her rounds about an hour after take-off, she noticed the salesman looking very pale and fidgeting around in his seat. She asked if he was all right and he told her that he was just feeling a little airsick.
A few minutes later, she noticed that he was now sweating and squirming frantically in his seat. She approached him again and asked him if he was sure he was all right.
"Well, actually," more...

A Yuppie was standing at the country club bar with a tennis ball stuffed into the pocket of his shorts.
A lil' Yuppette next to him tapped him on the arm and pointed to the bulge and asked, "What's that?"
"Tennis ball." he replied.
"Ohhh... ouch!" the Yuppette responded grimacing. "I know how that must hurt. I've had tennis elbow before myself."

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the' most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.'



*Question: What is one horsepower? *Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.



*You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.



*Talc is found on rocks and on babies.



*The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.



*When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.



*When people run around and around in circles more...

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, "Hi Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, "They won't let me fart."

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife." "What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter. "My wife."

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?"
The host said, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife."
"What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter, and the host said, "My wife."

*Question: What is one horsepower?*Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. * You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind. * Talc is found on rocks and on babies. * The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down. * When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when theybroke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. * When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we saythey are orbiting. * Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. * While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really onlycentrificating. * Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. * South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage. * Most books now say our more...