Stuffed Jokes

'Twas the night before Chanukah, as it is said
And Santa was sitting and hocking his head
He had all the toys wrapped up nice in his zeckel
For maidlach and boys to give each one a peckel
The reindeer were saddled and ready to fly
Like a crew of brave astronauts all through the sky
But Santa was starving to eat a good meichel
Some regular food that would stick to his beichel
Not plum cakes or mincemeat or peppermint candy
But some kosher cooking he thought would be dandy
So he called to his reindeer, "Hey, kinder, let's go
To a Jewish balbusta and don't be so slow."
The house had no chimney, so he went through the door
And kissed the mezzuzah and jumped on the floor
Then the man of the house said, "Santa you devil
Come on, don't be shy and see our split level
The night is still early, there's plenty of zeit
So come in the den and please have a bite
If only we knew you were coming, more...

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?"The host said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.""What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter."My ex-wife" replied the hunter.

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife." "Whats he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter. "My wife."

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday weretaking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off
to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so
again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again
grabbed her, and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said,
Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?'
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew......
' Bastards won't let me fart.'

The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder as you get older. After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11 Never blow in a cat's ear because if you do, usually after three or four times, they will bite your lips! And they don't let go for at least a minute. Lisa Coburn, age 9 Don't think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work. I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other day. Nick Coleman, age 9 Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don't know if they like you, ask them out and see what happens. I liked this girl and I asked her out. She said no and she hates me now, but I took that risk. Bruce Wagner, age 13 A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. Megan, age 14 When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, more...