Stanford Jokes

Q: How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

Q: How many Stanford researchers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to hold the ladder, one to turn the bulb, and one to bill the government for the house.

The Stanford Law Review runs the following quote on their masthead:
"For every thousand people hacking at the leaves of evil there
is one chopping at the roots."
-H.D. Thoreau
On their April Fools issue they ran the following:
"For every person hacking at the leaves of evil there are a thousand
smoking the stuff."

The usually pink polo shirt and khaki pant wearing Wie is hoping to blend in with fellow Stanford students by wearing a pink polo shirt and khaki pants. Also, by being Asian.

At the physics exam:' Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.'

Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games?
A: The' wave'.

The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator.

A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?

Researchers in Fairbanks Alaska announced last week that they have discovered a superconductor which will operate at room temperature.

The answer to the problem was "log(1+x)". A student copied the answer from the good student next to him, but didn't want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to "timber(1+x)"

One day in class, Richard Feynman was talking about angular momentum. He described rotation matrices and mentioned that they more...