Spielberg Jokes / Recent Jokes

Steven Spielberg's smash hit dinosaur flick "Jurassic Park" is the latest victim of the Telugu film industry's remake factory. The blockbuster special-effects extravaganza is being re-made for a Telugu audience, and the script will undergo some modification to appeal to the discerning Telugu movie go-er.

"What is there in Spielberg or George Lucas? They make good films, but our film will be better than the original. We are using Indian values to add some interest value." said someone named Rao.

Reports reveal that the main story line will involve a dinosaur whose mother is kidnapped by smugglers. The dinosaur then sets off on a long journey to rescue her, discovers that the kidnappers had killed his father over the issue of some merchandising rights, and gets his revenge by blowing up a few helicopters. On the way, he meets and falls in love with a girl dinosaur with big breasts and garish clothes, and marries her at the end of the film. more...

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers.
Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?"

Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him." "And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.
"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly. "And what about you?"

Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I'll be Bach," said Arnie.

One day Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Pierce Brosnan were in a jungle in order to take some shots for a new movie.
Unfortunately, they were caught by a tribal group. As they were about to be executed they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for her mercy. She said, ”Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed. ” The three stars agreed. Then went into the jungle to look for some food

Spielberg was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. She tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of them up his ass. The servants finished their duty, leaving a screaming Spielberg.

Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project - an action docudrama about famous composers starring top movie stars Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present. Spielberg strongly desired the box office' oomph' of these superstars, so he was prepared to allow them to select whatever composers they would portray, as long as they were very famous.
"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him."
"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano" said Willis. "I'll play him."
"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Segal. "I'd like to play him."
Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid." Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"
So Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he seesSteven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese peoplebombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here." The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese"."Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese your all the same," replied Spielberg.In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese man, replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carsberg, you're all the same."

Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of=here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same, " replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."