Shower Jokes / Recent Jokes
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).Cats, like their nemesis, the dog, do get dirty and have a variety of odors, from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember, your dog will try to eat anything.) Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you, you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.1. First, dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is more...
There was this lady who was in the shower & her little boy walked in on her taking a shower & he saw her pubic hairs & says:
"Mommy what's that?" as he pointed down to her.
"Well, that's Mommy's washcloth."
The next day he walked in on her again, & asked her again & she says it was her washcloth. Well, this time when he walked out she shaved it off because she got tired of him asking.
So the next day when he walked in on her, he asks:
"Mommy what happened to your washcloth?"
"Uh, Mommy lost it." So the little boy walked out.
The next day he walked in on his mom & says:
"Hey Mommy, the maid found your washcloth & she is washing Daddy's face with it!"
There was this lady who was in the shower & her little boy walked in on her taking a shower & he saw her pubic hairs & says:"Mommy what's that?" as he pointed down to her."Well, that's Mommy's washcloth."The next day he walked in on her again, & asked her again & she says it was her washcloth. Well, this time when he walked out she shaved it off because she got tired of him asking.So the next day when he walked in on her, he asks:"Mommy what happened to your washcloth?""Uh, Mommy lost it." So the little boy walked out.The next day he walked in on his mom & says:"Hey Mommy, the maid found your washcloth & she is washing Daddy's face with it!"
This little girl had a nightmare she goes into her moms room and says mommy can i take a shower with you and her mom said sure but dont look down but she looked down and said mommy what is that that is my bush.
the next night she took a shower with her dad and here dad said do not look down so she looked down and said daddy what is that that is my snake.
so the next night she open the door and asked mommy can i sleep with you sure dont look under the covers she did and she said daddy your snake is in mommy bush.
Old world charm - Room with no TV, radio and only 1 light.
Tropical - Rainy.
Majestic setting - A long way from town, at end of dirt road.
Options galore - Nothing is included in the price.
Secluded hideaway - Directions to locate unclear.
Some budget rooms - Sorry, already occupied.
Explore on your own - At your own expense.
Minutes From ??? - By Plane
Romantic - No Phone in room
Knowledgeable trip hosts - They've flown in an airplane before.
No extra fees - No extras available.
Bird Watchers Paradise - Your car's paint will never be the same
Nominal fee - Outrageous charge.
Standard - Sub-standard.
Deluxe - Barely Standard.
Superior accommodations- One complimentary chocolate, free shower cap.
All the amenities - Two chocolates, two shower caps.
Just Like Home - No Maid service.
Plush - Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes.
Gentle breezes - In hurricane alley.
Light and airy - No air more...
Little Francine watched her father take a shower. She noticed his
testicles and asked him what they were. "Those are my apples," he
replied.
Later the little girl told her mother what Daddy had said. Her
mother smirked, "Did Daddy tell you about the dead limb they're
hanging on?"
The mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably
long penis. He called in his receptionists to show her. She took one
look and said, "That's just like my Harry's."
"You mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked.
"No," she replied. "That dead."
One morning a milkman called on one of his regular customers and
was surprised to see a white bedsheet with a hole in the middle
hanging up in her living room. The housewife explained that she'd had
a party the night before in which the company played "Who's Whose" -
each of more...
Little Francine watched her father take a shower. She noticed his
testicles and asked him what they were. "Those are my apples," he
replied.
Later the little girl told her mother what Daddy had said. Her
mother smirked, "Did Daddy tell you about the dead limb they're
hanging on?"
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The mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably
long penis. He called in his receptionists to show her. She took one
look and said, "That's just like my Harry's."
"You mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked.
"No," she replied. "That dead."
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One morning a milkman called on one of his regular customers and
was surprised to see a white bedsheet with a hole in the middle
hanging up in her living room. The more...