Sew Jokes

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    Bride

    Hot 1 year ago

    Once a young Brahmin went to the house of a very respectable Old Brahmin to
    ask for his young daughters hand. "My dear Sir", he goes "I have heard that
    your daughter has all the good qualities of a Bahu"?
    The old brahmin answered "Haan! !
    More that that, she is Sundara Vati and Padma Vati"
    But can she cook and keep house"? Asked the young man "Oh yes,
    she is Dharma Vati" answered the old man
    "Now, can she sew"? asked the young man "Oh yes yes,
    she can not only sew, but she is KalaVati " answered the old man
    "What about her education"? Asked the young man
    "She is Vidya Vati" answered the old man
    "And the Vedas"? Asked the young man "Oh yes yes,
    she is Veda Vati" answered the old man
    The young man is very happy to find the perfect bride and gets married to her.
    Two days later he comes back with his newly married more...

    ODE TO A SPELL CHECKER
    by Jerrold H Zar
    I have a spelling checker.
    It came with my PC.
    It plane lee marks four my revue
    Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
    Eye ran this poem threw it,
    Your sure reel glad two no.
    Its vary polished in it`s weigh.
    My checker tolled me sew.
    A checker is a bless sing.
    It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
    It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
    And aides me when aye rime.
    Each frays come posed up on my screen
    Eye trussed too be a joule.
    The checker pours o`er every word
    To cheque sum spelling rule.
    Bee fore a veiling checker`s
    Hour spelling mite decline,
    And if we`re lacks oar have a laps,
    We wood bee maid to wine.
    Butt now bee cause my spelling
    Is checked with such grate flare,
    Their are know fault`s with in my cite,
    Of nun eye am a wear.
    Now spelling does knot phase me,
    it does knot bring a tier.
    My pay purrs awl due glad more...

    My `Spelling Checker'
    Now I have a spelling checker
    It came with my PC
    It plane lee marks four my revue
    Miss steaks I can knot sea
     
    I ran this poem threw it
    Your sure reel glad two know
    It's vary polished in it's weigh
    My checker tolled me sew
     
    This checker is a bless sing
    It freeze yew lodes of thyme
    It helps me right awl stiles to read
    And aides me when eye rime
     
    Each frays come posed up on my screen
    I trussed to be a joule
    The checker pours o'er every word
    To cheque sum spelling rule
     
    Now bee cause my spelling
    Is checked with such grate flare
    Their are no faults within my cite
    Of none eye am a wear
     
    To rite with care is quite a feet
    Of witch won should be proud
    And me must do the best we can
    Sew flaws are knot aloud
     
    Sew ewe can see why I do prays
    Such soft ware for pea seas
    And why I brake in two more...

    Sven and Ole worked together and were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office.

    When asked his occupation, Sven looked the lady in the eye and said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."

    The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

    Then Ole goes in and sits down with the lady.
    She asked Ole his occupation. "Diesel fitter", he replied.

    Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave the Ole $600 a week.

    When Sven found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker, Ole, was collecting double his unemployment pay.

    The clerk explained: "When I looked it up, panty-stitchers were unskilled laborers and diesel fitters were skilled laborers."

    Skill!..."What skill?" yelled Sven.
    "I sew the elastic on...
    He pulls more...

    ODE TO A SPELL CHECKER by Jerrold H ZarI have a spelling checker. It came with my PC. It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea. Eye ran this poem threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in it's weigh. My checker tolled me sew. A checker is a bless sing. It freeze yew lodes of thyme. It helps me right awl stiles two reed, And aides me when aye rime. Each frays come posed up on my screen Eye trussed too be a joule. The checker pours o'er every word To cheque sum spelling rule. Bee fore a veiling checker's Hour spelling mite decline, And if we're lacks oar have a laps, We wood bee maid to wine. Butt now bee cause my spelling Is checked with such grate flare, Their are know fault's with in my cite, Of nun eye am a wear. Now spelling does knot phase me, it does knot bring a tier. My pay purrs awl due glad den With wrapped word's fare as hear. To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should bee proud, And wee mussed dew the best wee can, Sew flaw's more...

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