There were 3 bees, a squirrel and a man in a car.They were driving along a country lane and the car broke down.
The first bee said, " dont worry ill give us a few extra miles by peeing in the tank",
it worked, for a couple of miles that is until they broke down again. And so the second bee decided to do the same as the first bee, but this lasted another couple of miles until they broke down again, so the third bee did exactly the same.Then finally the car broke down.
The squirrel said " I'll pee in the tank"
The man replied, sorry mate, this car only runs on BP.
Editor's note: Sound it out if you don't get it. If you still don't get it, I wouldn't bother trying...
A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate
his plain toast (no honey and butter.)
Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
One day, two bees are buzzing around what's left of a rose bush.
"How's your summer been?" asks bee number one.
"Not too good," says bee two. "Lotta rain, lotta cold. There aren't enough flowers, therefore not enough pollen."
The first bee has an idea. "Hey, why don't you go down to the corner and hang a left? There's a bar mitzvah going on. Plenty of flowers and fruit."
Bee two buzzes, "Thanks!" and takes off. An hour later, the bees bump into each other again.
"How was the bar mitzvah?" asks the first bee.
"Great!" replies the second.
The first bee, however, notices a small circle on his friend's head, and inquires, "What's that on your head?"
"A yarmulke," is the answer. "I didn't want them to think I was a Wasp."
You are driving along about 130 mph and a bee SPLAT right on the winshield.
What;s the last thing that goes through its mind?
"How are things going?" one bee asked another.
"Terrible," the second bee replied. "I can't find any flowers or pollen anywhere."
No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down this street until you see all the cars. There's an outdoor bar mitzvah going on with lots of flower arrangements and fresh fruit."
"Thanks!" said the second bee, buzzing off. Later the two bees ran into one another, and the second bee thanked the first bee for the tip. Then the first bee asked, "But what's that thing on your head?"
My yarmulke," the second bee replied. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."