Seminar Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Smart Chauffeur

    Hot 5 years ago

    A successful scientist was on his way to a seminar where he was supposed to give a lecture on his new breakthrough in research. His chauffeur saw his tired look and felt sorry for him.
    "Sir, why don't you take the day off today", he said, "I've heard your lecture so many times by now I know it by heart. I can give the lecture and you can just sit back and relax."
    The scientist thought this was a great idea, since he was sick and tired of giving the exact same lecture over and over again.
    When they arrived at the seminar the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and seated himself in the back of the lecture hall. His trusted chauffeur walked to the podium and gave an excellent lecture showing at least as much confidence as the scientist would.
    At the end of the lecture the chauffeur asked, just as his master always does, "Are there any questions?"
    One of the professors in the hall stood up and asked a long question about a very more...

    Casual day memos

    Hot 5 years ago

    Memo No. 1:
    Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.
    Memo No. 2:
    Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
    Memo No. 3:
    Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
    Memo No. 4:
    A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. Fashion show to follow. Attendance is mandatory.
    Memo No. 5:
    As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper dress.
    Memo No. 6:
    The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards" has been mailed to each employee. Please review the chapter "You Are What You Wear" and consult the more...

    L. organized the seminar in hydrodynamics in his University. Among the regular attendees there were two men in the uniform, obviously military engineers. They never discussed the problems they were working on. But one day they ask L. to help with a math. problem. They explained that the solution of a certain equation oscillated and asked how they should change the coefficients to make it monotonic. L. looked on the equation and said: "Make the wings longer!"

    CASUAL DAY

    Hot 11 months ago

    Memo No. 1:
    Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.
    Memo No. 2:
    Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
    Memo No. 3:
    Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
    Memo No. 4:
    A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p. m. Friday in the cafeteria. Fashion show to follow. Attendance is mandatory.
    Memo No. 5:
    As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, the Committee On Committee's has appointed a 14-member Casual Day Task Force to prepare guidelines for proper dress.
    Memo No. 6:
    The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards" has been mailed to each employee. Please review the chapter "You Are more...

    6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
    6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
    6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
    6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
    7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
    7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
    7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
    8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
    8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
    8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
    8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
    9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
    9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
    9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
    9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
    10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
    10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: more...

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