Scene Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
    "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
    ''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the-"
    ''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
    ''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road-''
    ''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer more...

    A matter of trust!

    Hot 6 years ago

    A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
    A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
    Q: Officer, who provided this description?
    A: The officer who responded to the scene.
    Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
    A: Yes sir, with my life.
    Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer-do you have a locker room in the police station-a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
    A: Yes sir, we do.
    Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
    A: Yes sir, I do.
    Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
    A: Yes sir.
    Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those more...

    Goofs for Titanic

    Hot 5 years ago

    GOOFS FOR TITANIC (1997)
    Continuity
    Jack won his ticket by beating 2 pair with a full house. However, when we first see Jack's hand, he has nothihg that could be made in to a full house, and only draws one card.
    Revealing mistakes
    A strip of desert is visible between the dock and the Titanic when docked at Southampton.
    Anachronisms
    Jack claims to have gone ice fishing on Lake Wissota, which wasn't created until five years after the Titanic sank. Jacks claims to have visited the Santa Monica Pier, which did not begin construction until 1916. The pipe frames supporting the third class berths have set-screw speed rail fittings, not developed until 1946.
    Continuity
    In the scene where Jack is teaching Rose to spit, there is no spit on his chin as he starts to turn around to face the ladies, but by the time he has completed his turn he has some on his chin.
    The main characters have lunch in the Palm Court/Verandah on A Deck. These were not used for more...

    A scene from the movie Ruthless People. It's been a while but I'll try to retell the scene for anyone who hasn't seen it before.
    Danny De Vito is in his office behind his desk and is being questioned by some geeky guy (I think a cop) sitting across from him. The phone rings and Danny answers...
    Danny: "Hello"
    Caller: "Is Debbie there"
    Danny: "Debbie? Who's this?"
    Caller: "Ralph"
    Danny: "Ralph, Debbie's here but can't talk to you right now 'cause she's got my dick in her mouth! Want me to have here call you back when she's done?"
    Caller: hangs up
    Danny (to the geeky cop who's eyeballs are popping out): "I love wrong numbers!"

    Jesus and the Elves

    Hot 4 years ago

    And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his espoused
    wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a son and wrapped
    him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no
    room for them in the inn. And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds
    and said, "I bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior,
    which is Christ the Lord."
    "There's a problem with the angel," said a Pharisee who happened to be
    strolling by. As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as
    religious symbols, and the stable was on public property where such symbols
    were not allowed to land or even hover.
    "And I have to tell you, this whole thing looks to me very much like a
    Nativity scene," he said sadly. "That's a no-no, too." Joseph had a bright
    idea. "What if I put a couple of reindeer over there near the ox and ass?"
    he said, eager to avoid more...

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