Trust Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
    A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
    Q: Officer, who provided this description?
    A: The officer who responded to the scene.
    Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
    A: Yes sir, with my life.
    Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer-do you have a locker room in the police station-a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
    A: Yes sir, we do.
    Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
    A: Yes sir, I do.
    Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
    A: Yes sir.
    Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those more...

    Never trust a man with short legs... His brain is too near his ass.

    #1 Once you have their money... never give it back.
    #3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
    #6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
    #7 Keep your ears open.
    #8 Small print leads to large risk.
    #9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
    #10 Greed is eternal.
    #13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
    #16 A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
    #18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
    #19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
    #21 Never place friendship above profit.
    #22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
    #27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest business man.
    #31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother... insult something he cares about instead.
    #33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
    #34 Peace is good for business.
    #35 War is good for business.
    #40 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
    #41 Profit is it's own more...

    Never trust anyone who always tells the truth.

    A Tourist Climbed Out Of His Car In Connaught Place, New Delhi.
    He Said To A Man Standing Near The Curb, "Listen, I'm Going To Be Only A Couple Of Minutes. Would You Watch My Car While I Visit This Store?"
    "What?" The Man Huffed. "Do You Realize That I Am A Member Of The Indian Parliament?"
    "Well No," The Tourist Said, "I Didn't Realize That. But It's All Right. I'll Trust You Anyway."

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