Saying Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. Nurses are known to be hot to trot". The second man married a telephone operator. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,"Wow, he's a lucky one. Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top button...Va-voom.". The third man married a school teacher. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty but teachers are just too frigid". The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two would call much later in the day. At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The more...

In an indian camp there lived an INDIAN chief who had a problem. .. he had constepation... so he send his apprentice to the medicine man to fetch some medicine.. which would unconstepate him!
The apprentice goes to the medicine man.. says BIG CHIEF NO SHIT! THE medicine man gives the boy a samll package saying. . this is strong medicine thats y only take in small quantiy.. ask chief to take this. .. the apprentice goes bak and gives it to the chief. .. who takes it happily. ..
But again the nextday the chief had no luk. the apprentice goes bak to the medicine man and says. . BIG CHIEF NO SHIT! medicine man gives a stronger dose this time. ... boy goes bak and hands it to the chief. .. again no luck so next day he goes back
says BIG CHIEF NO SHIT! the medicine man gives him the strongest dose. . and says give this to chief.. the boy returns and gives it to the chief. . who was now desperate...

The next day the boy returns saying "MEDICINE MAN MEDICINE more...

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 15 km'.
He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign that says, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 8 km' and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution Next Right' his curiosity gets the better of him and he pulls into the drive.
On the far side of the parking lot is a sombre stone building with a small sign next to the door saying, 'Sisters of Mercy'.
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you, my son?'
He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business.'
'Very well, my son. Please follow me.'
He is led through many winding passages more...

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal,
his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's
roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between John and his roommate and this only
made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two
interact, she started to wonder if there was more between
John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's
thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just
roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever
since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to
find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose
she took it, do you?"
John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter
just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mother,
I'm not saying you' did' take a gravy more...

John invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, she couldn't help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was. She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious. She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening and began to wonder whether there was more between John and Judy than met the eye. Realizing only too well what his mother was thinking, John said, "I can see your wheels turning Mom and I know what you're thinking. Rest assured Judy and I are strictly roommates." A few days later, Judy went to John and said, "You know the beautiful silver gravy ladle? Well, ever since your mother came to dinner I can't seem to find it. You don't think she would have taken it, do you?" "I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure," replied John. John then sat down and wrote his mother the following letter: "Dear Mom, While more...

A professor handed out the test papers to all of his students and returned to his desk to wait. When the test was over, the students handed them in.
As the professor was going through the papers, he noticed one student had paper-clipped a $100 bill to his test with an accompanying note saying "A buck a point".
The next day the professor handed the tests back to the respective students.
The student who attached the $100 bill to his, received his test score back along with $64 and a note saying, "here's your change".

A Polish guy, a German guy, and a Russian guy are all challenged by a skunk on who can withstand its smell the longest in an outhouse.

They decide the German guy goes first. So he goes in.
After about 5 minutes, he walks out saying, "Oh god, that smelled horrible! I can't take it anymore!"

Then the Polish guy goes in.
After about 6 minutes, he too walks out, saying, "Shit, that smells worse than anything!"

Then, the Russian guy goes in.
Time passed, and the other two waited, and waited.

After about an hour, the skunk runs out saying, "I can't fucking stand it anymore! He took his fucking shoes off!!"