Sam Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly." St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge." Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon." St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari." A short time later, Jon more...

A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful.
"Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?"
"Nobody gave them to me," said Sam. "I had to fight like crazy for both of them."

"Yeah, Doc, what's the news?" asked grandpa Sam when his doctor called with his test results. "I have some bad news and some really bad news," said the doctor. "The bad news is that you only have 24 hours to live." "Oh my God," gasped Sam as he dropped to his knees. "What could be worse news than that?" "I couldn't get hold of you yesterday."

Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Sam: "I don’t know."
Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."
Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil: A teacher.
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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
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Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a more...