Rushes Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Heart Attack?

    Hot 2 years ago

    A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.' What's up?' he says.

    'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the woman.

    He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,' Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!' The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door.

    Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.' You jerk,' yells the husband,' my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!'

    Make a Wish

    Hot 7 years ago

    10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike.
    Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now.
    He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks, 'cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh, I need a man, Ohhh I need a man."
    Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room.
    Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and more...

    Blonde Girl's Blonde Husband
    A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises
    coming from
    the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the
    bed, sweating
    and panting. "What's going on here?' he says. "I'm having a
    heart attack,"
    cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but
    just as he's
    dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy!,
    Uncle Ted's
    hiding in your wardrobe closet and he's got no clothes on!"
    The guy slams
    the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his
    screaming wife,
    and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his
    brother, totally
    naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor. "You IDIOT!!!," says the
    husband, "my
    wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked
    and scaring the
    kids."

    10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike.Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now.He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks, 'cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh, I need a man, Ohhh I need a man."Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room.Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and there once again was more...

    A man is in a bar and has a couple of drinks. The bartender tells him that he owes $10.
    "But, bartender," the man says, "I already paid you! Don't you remember?"
    "Well, okay," replies the bartender, "if you say you've already paid, then I guess you have."
    The man goes outside, approaches the first person he sees, and tells him that the bartender can't seem to keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. On hearing that, the second man rushes into the bar, orders a beer, and then pulls the same stunt on the bartender.
    "Okay," says the bartender, "if you say you've already paid, then I guess you have."
    The second man goes outside, sees a friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.
    The third man rushes into the bar and starts gulping down one drink after the other. A short time later, the bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were more...

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