Rudner Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton 2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong 3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner 4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. -Rita Rudner 5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman 6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -Erma Bombeck 7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing' em. -Sue Grafton 8. I'm not going to vacuum' til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr 9. I think, therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead

1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know
I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton
2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly
ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong
3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my
friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want
to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner
4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a
child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our
lives. -Rita Rudner
5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
-Wendy Liebman
6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
-Erma Bombeck
7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing
'em. -Sue Grafton
8. I'm not going to vacuum' til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr
9. I think, more...