Rolling Jokes / Recent Jokes

HEADLINES
1. Heroic dog drags problem child back into burning building.
2. Solar eclipse – Public says affirmative action taken overboard.
3. Half bodied lady rolls to Zimbabwe for free water.
4. Dead fish threat in sushi shop.
5. Heroic police officer risks life and limb rearming bomb in Mugabe's suit.
6. Food poisoning caused by raw sushi.
7. Solar eclipse canceled due to full schedule.
8. Gay cow rapes sheep… twice.
9. Cow turns out to be Australian in cow costume.
10. Retard knocked over by parked car.
11. New Zealand man re-united with sheep father.
12. Retard turned fugitive after failed suicide.
13. Happy- unhappy.
14. Baby carrot run over, Doctors fear he could be a vegetable.
15. AIDS aids elderly man, adds seven years to life.
16. Sleeping man died on the job.
17. Iraq! The bomb to be.
18. Miracle leper goes missing after hot water turns to soup.
19. Man loses only left foot.
20. Baby goes more...

How do the Rolling Stones like their burgers? Plain - Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!

One fine day Mister Rabbit goes running around the forest.
He sees a giraffe rolling a joint. "Giraffe, giraffe! Why do you do drugs? Come run with me instead!"
So the giraffe stops rolling his joint and runs with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing lines. Says the rabbit: "Elephant, elephant, why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
So the elephant stops and goes running with the two. Then they come across a lion preparing a syringe. "Lion, lion," cries the rabbit, "Why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
The lion, with a mighty roar, bangs the rabbit to smithereens.
"No!" the giraffe and the elephant cry. "Why did you do that? All he was trying to do was to help you out!"
The lion replied, "Damn rabbit always makes me run around the friggin' forest when he's on speed!"

One fine day Mister Rabbit goes running around the forest.
He sees a giraffe rolling a joint. "Giraffe, giraffe! Why do you do drugs? Come run with me instead!"
So the giraffe stops rolling his joint and runs with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing lines. Says the rabbit: "Elephant, elephant, why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
So the elephant stops and goes running with the two. Then they come across a lion preparing a syringe. "Lion, lion," cries the rabbit, "Why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
The lion, with a mighty roar, bangs the rabbit to smithereens.
"No!" the giraffe and the elephant cry. "Why did you do that? All he was trying to do was to help you out!"
The lion replied, "Damn rabbit always makes me run around the friggin' forest when he's on speed!"

The Rolling Stones announced today they will hold a world tour starting Feburary 2008 in Munich. Mick Jagger stated the tour will be called "The Steel Wheelchair Tour"