Stone Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two young boys were at a waterfall. They saw a naked women underneath the water. One of the boys ran away and the other one followed him saying, why are you running? The first boy said, my mother said that if you look at a naked woman, you turn to stone... And I am already becoming hard !

    Scottish Builder

    Hot 6 years ago

    A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
    Old Man speaks; "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the Fence-Builder? Nooooo!"
    Then the old man gestured at the bar.
    "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the Bar Builder? Nooooooo!"
    Then the old man points out the window.
    "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea... Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the
    Pier-Builder? Nooooo!"
    Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention and says: more...

    After 9/11, the U.S. threatened to bomb Pakistan, "back to the Stone Age."
    The plans were cancelled after Pakistan's president pointed out that the U.S. would be bombing his country up to the Stone Age.

    A negro was travelling in china. In a remote village, he came upon an elderly chinaman skipping stones across a lake. At each bounce of the stone off the water, the mountains surrounding the lake echoed back, "CHING...CHANG...CHUN..." The negro was amazed. He asked the chinaman what was going on. "Oh", said the chinee, "magic spirit of the lake echo back the names of your ancient ancestors as your stone skip upon the sacred waters". "Wow", said the negro, "can I try it?". "Certainly", replied the chinaman. The negro picked up the biggest stone he could find, and gave it a mighty heave across the waters...and as it skipped across the waters, the mountains echoed back "CHIM...PAN...ZEE...."

    Caveman Tech Support

    Hot 3 years ago

    The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate:
    This fire help. Me Groog
    Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.
    You have flint and stone?
    Ugh
    You hit them together?
    Ugh
    What happen?
    Fire not work
    (sigh) Make spark?
    No spark, no fire, me confused. Fire work yesterday.
    *sigh* You change rock?
    I change nothing
    You sure?
    Me make one change. Stone hot so me soak in stream so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change, shouldn't keep Lorto from make fire, right?

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