Riding Jokes / Recent Jokes

At a Senior Citizen luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.
They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady,
"Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat!
When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and continued on down the
river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.
He again asked the lady, "Up or down? " There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild more...

Two nuns are riding a bike down a road and the firstnun says, "I`ve never come this way before!" and thesecond nun says, "Oh, it must be the cobblestone!"

I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out,"What was all that about?"He replied,"Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."

Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by
a policeman who said, “What do you think you are doing? What if you have an accident?”The priests say, “Don't worry, my son. Jesus is with us.”The policeman says, “In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to
ride on a motorcycle.”

David Beckham decides to try horseback riding, even though he hasn't had any
lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse unassisted and the horse
immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace as
Posh stands back in admiration, but then he begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror he grabs the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. He
tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side of
the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping
rider.
Finally, he gives up his frail grasp and he attempts to leap away from the horse
and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the
stirrup, now he is now at the mercy of the horses pounding hooves as his head is
struck against the ground over and over.
Posh stands there frantic, unable to do anything to help as his head is battered
against the ground. He is mere more...

Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business, we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying' This is the way we always have ridden this horse.'
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.
10. Change the requirements declaring that' This horse is not dead!'
11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that' No horse is to dead too beat.'
14. Providing additional funding to more...

An Antartian decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the Antartian begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to
safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when...Stan the Walmart manager runs out to shut the horse off.