Reverend Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Sunday morning, a man attended the service at the local church. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that he stopped to shake his hand. "Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I have ever heard," the man said.
"Thank you, sir," the Reverend replied, "but I must ask that you not use profanity in the Lord's house."
"Sorry, Reverend, I just can't help myself," said the man, "that was just such a damn good sermon."
"Sir, please," replied the Reverend. "Again I you not to use profanity in church."
"Okay, Reverend," the man said. "I just want you to know that I thought it was so damn good that I put $5000 in the collection plate."
"No shit!" exclaimed the Reverend.

One Sunday morning, Reverend Johnson said to his young son Billy, "Now, I want you to take the cow over to John's house, John will know what to do. Then come on along to church."
When Billy arrived in church, Reverend Johnson was in the middle of his sermon. The text of the sermon was about the life of John the Baptist, and the Reverend was on a roll. Every now and then he would ask the rhetorical question, "and what did John say?"
After hearing the same question quite a few times, but having missed the beginning of the sermon, Billy could take it no longer and stood up and said, "John said that if you want that cow fucked, to fuck her yourself, because you didn't pay him last time."

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.The group surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?"One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the
dog."The reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the more...

After years of his wife's pleading, this good ol boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the Preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand.
He said, "Reverend, that was the best gawd damn sermon I ever did hear!"
The Preacher replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please...I'd appreciate it if you didn't use the Lord's name in vain!"
The man said, "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself, it was a good gawddamn sermon!"
The Reverend said, "Sir, PLEASE, I cannot have you behaving this way at Church"!
The man said, "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so gawddamn good, I put $
500.00 in the collection plate!"
And the Reverend said, "NO SHIT?!"

After years of his wife's pleading, this good ol boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the Preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand.
He said, "Reverend, that was the best gawd damn sermon I ever did hear!"
The Preacher replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please...I'd appreciate it if you didn't use the Lord's name in vain!"
The man said, "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself, it was a good gawddamn sermon!"
The Reverend said, "Sir, PLEASE, I cannot have you behaving this way at Church"!
The man said, "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so gawddamn good, I put $500.00 in the collection plate!"
And the Reverend said, "NO SHIT?!"

After years of his wife's pleading, this good ol boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the Preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand.He said, "Reverend, that was the best gawd damn sermon I ever did hear!"The Preacher replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please...I'd appreciate it if you didn't use the Lord's name in vain!"The man said, "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself, it was a good gawddamn sermon!"The Reverend said, "Sir, PLEASE, I cannot have you behaving this way at Church"! The man said, "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so gawddamn good, I put $500.00 in the collection plate!"And the Reverend said, "NO SHIT?!"

After years of his wife's pleading, this rich good ole boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand.
He said, "Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!"
The Preacher replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house."
The man said, "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself, it was such a damn good sermon!"
The Reverend said, "Sir, PLEASE, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!"
The man said, "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, I put $5000 in that there collection plate."
The Reverend looks stunned, and says, "NO SH**?"