Reserve Jokes / Recent Jokes
THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU!
With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks--possibly a whole year--as a result of the strike. But now you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day--that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV--you can help a basketball player remain economically viable during his time of need.
Two thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, two thousand dollars is nothing more than three months rent or mortgage payments. But to a basketball player, two more...
Dear Contributor:
The "NBA Player Adoption Program" desperately needs your charitable assistance. With an NBA player's strike against the team owners, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we really care. What those men are forced to endure -- it's just not right!
Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the NBA seven-figure salary poverty line. And as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks-possibly a whole year!
But now you can help!
For only about $2,000.00 a day -- that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV -- you can help keep an impoverished basketball player economically viable during his time of need.
$2,000.00 a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to an NBA basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in bug-infested Florida or a life-renewing Mediterranean cruise.
For you, more...
THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU! With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks--possibly a whole year--as a result of the strike. But now you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day--that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV--you can help a basketball player remain economically viable during his time of need. Two thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, two thousand dollars is nothing more than three months rent or mortgage payments. But to a basketball player, two thousand dollars a day will more...
This week, Democratic Presidential nominee Barack Obama met with Federal Reserve Chief Ben Bernanke. I wasn’t at the meeting, but I’m pretty sure it went down like this…
Obama: Thank you Mr. Bernanke, for letting me speak with you today.
Bernanke: Actually, you’ve come at the right time- there is an urgent matter we need to discuss!
Obama: The housing crisis? Interest rates? Stagflation? What?
Bernanke: No. I don’t even recognize any of those terms. In fact, I’m pretty sure you made the last one up.
Obama: You mean “stagflation”?
Bernanke: Enough with your Zulu gibberish, heathen! Speak in the Queen’s English, Mustafa- you’re not in Kenya anymore!
Obama: What the hell are you talking about?
Bernanke: Silence!! The mighty Fed Chief is speaking. (Blows on loudly on conch shell) Now Mustafa, I have to talk with you, privately and preferably naked, on pressing matters... You see, for years I’ve more...
Mar 18, 1997 (AP)
Following the recent announcement that all available humor has been used, and is now being recycled, a very unexpected reactionhas occurred in Congress. Responding to a flood of calls and letters,, members of both houses of Congress have come together to attempt to resolve the problem. In a rare show of bipartisan cooperation, a majority of Senators and Representatives signed a letter to the President asking him to release some of the US strategic reserves of humor.
It is a little known fact, but the United States keeps a large reserve of humor, in a manner similar to that in which oil reserves are stored. Located in abandoned salt caves buried deep in Louisiana, the humor is stored for times of national emergency and general unhappiness.
Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, in a statement made during a press conference to announce the letter stated: "The American people have spoken. The vas majority of the comments we have all received have been from more...