Ranil Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once Mahinda Rajapakse, Ranil Wikramasinghe & Mervin Silva were
travelling in a Taxi. They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks Mahinda and Ranil to go to HEAVEN.
But, for Mervin, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Mervin is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test. Mahinda is asked to spell' SRI LANKA' and he does it correctly. Ranil is asked to spell' INDIA' and he too passes. It is Mervin's turn and he is asked to spell' more...

If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.

DAILY NEWS:
UNP THUG BITES A DOG
Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...