Raisins Jokes

How to catch a white elephant: Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row. After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin (with raisins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bringing with you a muffin (without raisins). Drop the muffin (without raisins) as usual. When the white elephant finds out that the muffin (without raisins) lacks rasins, it will darken in anger. And then you catch it the same way you catch an ordinary grey elephant.

Beth Vorhees of public TV fame said her daughter, Diana, a third-grader, was to give a demonstration speech at school. She planned to demonstrate how to make "Flies on a Log" which consists of peanut butter spread on a stalk of celery with raisins on it.The morning of her speech, Diana took out everything she needed and put it on the kitchen counter, ready to take it to school. Unfortunately, when the girl and her mother left for school, they forgot to take the items.Diana's mother dropped her off and went home to get the stuff.The celery was gone. The raisins were gone. The peanut butter had been put away."Oh," said Diana's father. "I had that stuff for breakfast."Diana's faithful mother rushed to gather up more ingredients and rush them to school with an apology to the teacher and an explanation of what happened."Gee," said Diana's teacher, "that's a first --' My dad ate my homework.'"

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

How to Catch a White Elephant ============================= Submitted By Niels Kristian JensenGo to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you amuffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant willbe happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants likemuffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row. After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin(with rasins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bring with you a muffinwithout rasins. Drop the muffin as usual. When the white elephant findsout that the muffin lacks raisins, it will darken in anger. And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary grey elephant.

There was this duck that walked into a bar and sat down in a stool and the bartender said, “Can I help you? ” The duck said, “quack, quack, quack,,, got any raisins? ” The bartender said, “NO! This is a bar and we don’t sell raisins. ” The duck walked out and then he came in the next day and sat in the very same stool! The bartender walked over and asked him if he could help him? The duck said, “quack, quack, quack,,, got any raisins? ”
The bartender said, “NO this is a BAR we don’t sell raisins! ” So the duck walked out again and left. He came back the next day and sat in the same stool once again! The duck yelled at the bartender, “quack, quack, quack, and got any raisins? ” The bartender said, “NO. And if you come back here once more I am going to nail your webbed feet to the ground and you are going to die there.