Principal Jokes / Recent Jokes

Was the principal's brother really a missionary? He certainly was. He gave the people of the Cannibal Islands their first taste of Christianity!

Early One Morning, A Lady Went In To Wake Up Her Son. "Wake Up, Son. It's Time To Go To School!"
"But Why Mom? I Don't Want To Go."
"Give Me Two Reasons Why You Don't Want To Go."
"Well, The Kids Hate Me For One, And The Teachers Hate Me, Too!"
"Oh, That's No Reason Not To Go To School. Come On Now And Get Ready."
"Give Me Two Reasons Why I Should Go To School."
"Well, For One, You're 52 Years Old. And For Another, You're The Principal!"

It was the first day of school and this girl's teacher asked her what her name was. She said "Texas." The teacher said, "Haha, no really, what's your name?" and the girl said, "Texas," so the teacher said, "Go to the principal's office."
The principal said, "What's your name?" She replied, "Texas." He said, "Funny, what's your name?" and she said, "Texas," so he sent her home.
As Texas was walking home, a guy stopped her and said, "What's your name?" She said, "Texas." He said, "That's funny. No, really, what's your name?" She said, "Texas." He said, "I will stab you with my mother's butcher knife if you don't tell me what your real name is," and she said, "IT'S TEXAS!" so he stabbed her. When he got home, his mother asked, "Where's my butcher knife?" and he sang "DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!"

It was the first day of the school year and the first grade teacher was asking her students their names. "What's your name?" she asked a little girl in the front row.
"Happy Butt," the little girl cheerfully replied.
"Honey, I don't think that's your name. I'd like you to go to the principal's office to get this straightened out," said the teacher.
So, the little girl went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?"
"Happy Butt," she answered.
The principal phoned the little girl's mother to get this cleared up once and for all.
As soon as he hung up the phone, he looked at the litte girl and said, "Your name is Gladys, dear, not Happy Butt."
"Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what's the difference?" exclaimed the little girl.

It was the first day of the school year and the teacher was asking her first grade students their names. "What is your name?" she asked a little boy in the first row.
"Peter Break," the little boy gleefully answered.
The teacher said, "Young man, I don't think that's your name. Now, what is your real name?"
Again, the little boy responded, "Peter Break."
Frustrated, the teacher went to the principal's office and asked, "Mr. Jones, do we have a Peter Break here?"
The principal replied, "Heck, we don't even have time for a coffee break here!"

A first grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"

Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer
any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade more...

Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive

I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud more...