Photo Jokes / Recent Jokes

An April 7th newspaper had an AP photo taken in Washington DC. The photo was of a Ringling Brothers circus elephant with Newt on one side and Bob Dole on the other side. How appropriate - a circus elephant with a CLOWN on either side.

After having become the chief minister of bihar, laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth chief minister he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo.

Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper.
Guess the caption "laloo, third from left"

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.
"Easy," she replied. "He only has one eye."
The chief was stunned. "He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!" He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.
"He only has one ear," was her answer.
"What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!" He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, "How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer."
After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, "He's more...

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect. ''Easy,'' she replied. ''He only has one eye.'' The chief was stunned. ''He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!'' He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him. ''He only has one ear,'' was her answer. ''What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!'' He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, ''How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.'' After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, ''He's wearing contact lenses.'' This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard more...

A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic.

The druggist ask's "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?".

The lady say's "To kill my husband."

I can't sell you any for that reason" says the druggist.

The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a women in a compromising position, the man is her husband and the lady is the druggist's wife, and shows it to the druggist.

He looks at the photo and says. . . . . . " Oh I didn't know you had a prescription!"

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)... and says, "Here, you can go."

A old Irish woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, to a photographer and asked him if he could touch it up as it was the only photo she had to remember him by. The Photographer assured her that when he finished with the photo she would think it had just been developed. He also asured her that he could remove all the wrinkles and the scratches from the photo and asked her if that was all she wanted done on the photo to which she replied, well he’s wearing his old rubber wellington boots and I never really cared for them, could you do something about that. The photographer said he could make it look like he had his sunday best shoes on. She was really delighted and asked him if he could do something with the old moth eaten jumper her husband was wearing in the photo to which he said he could make it look like a new jumper. By this time she was really overjoyed and said that she never liked the hat he had on and wanted to know if the photographer could remove the hat from more...