Philippines Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers? They cause too much brain damage.

    You understand a lot of Tagalog, but can hardly speak it. Make fun of your parents' accents. As a child, you were totally embarrassed to eat spaghetti with sliced hot dogs in it. Now, there is absolutely no way you will eat spaghetti without the hot dogs. In fact, you suggest to your non-Filipino friends that hot dogs make spaghetti taste better. As a child, you hated being Filipino. Now, you wear Pinoy Pride T-shirts. You still wear Tsinelas (slippers). You still take off your shoes when entering a house. (Southern California) You've ever lived in Baldwin Park, Carson, Cerritos, the ghetto part of L. A., West Covina, Walnut or Diamond Bar. (Northern California) You've ever lived in Union City. You don't steal things (e. g., towels, soaps, tissues, cups) from hotel rooms like your parents did. And when you do take things, you deny that the action is not a Filipino trait. You don't care if a T-shirt was made in the Philippines or the USA. As long as it has a designer label on it, more...

    Erap To Internet

    Hot 3 years ago

    To My Countrymen Dear peoples from di Phillipines, As you are already informed via the internit, you should all be fully in awareness that I am going to be the next President of the Philippines. Now I know all the votes are not yet fully counted, but who cares about counting all the votes? You've seen one ballot, you've seen them all. Trust me, they all look the same. I am in knowing that many of you peoples here have somethings in reserved against me, and also thats many of you often make fun of me. So plees, plees let me re-insure you that I am not the man you are thinking I am. Many of the mudslingings about me from my opposers are lies, or things that are in the past. And I am not as stoopid as you beleive. I know how to subtract 2 plus 2, I can spell english better than Dan Kwayl, I know about economics and the law of sublime and demand. Underneath this barong, pantalon, and leopard briefs, is a man who knows what to do. You only need to ask the many women who have seen me and more...

    Why cant the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.

    A private high school north of the Philippines capital Manila has five teachers but only two students, a local newspaper reports.

    The school, in the bustling city of Urdaneta, is allowed to stay open as the two students have grades that fulfill the requirements of a program for high schools specialising in science, the Philippines Star newspaper said.

    The students, a boy and a girl, at the Special Science High School of the Lyceum Northwestern Florencia Duque College are taught in regular subjects like English, mathematics, science and music.

    However, during their physical education lessons, they are limited to playing two-person games like badminton and chess.

    Even if one student is absent, classes still proceed as scheduled, the newspaper said.

    School administrator Arfe Castillo conceded that the situation was odd but said "we are assured we get 100 per cent participation".

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