YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WOG WHEN...................
1. You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.
2. You carry your lunch in a Weston Produce bag because you can't fit 2 falafel chicken sandwiches, 4 oranges, 3 bananas, a jar of olives, a loaf of bread and a kebab into a regular paper lunch bag.
3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300, 000 in the bank, but still drives a' 76 Monaro/Kingswood.
4. Your mother owns 3 houses, has $400, 000 in the bank but still believes she's entitled to the pension.
5. You share one bathroom with your 5 brothers and 7 sisters, have no money, but drive a $75, 000 Club Sport.
6. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all related somehow.
7. You consider dunking a pack of Teddy Bear bikkies in coffee a nutritious breakfast.
8. There are at least 30 pairs of slippers in your front hall more...
You may be a Redneck if your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.
My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult timeachieving an orgasm. The Dr said "which position do you use?""Doggy style," said dumb shit."why don't you go home and tonight try it missionary position and see ifthWork jokess any better." said the Dr."We've tryed that" he said, "but my dogs got such baaadddd breath!"
Merry Christmas! (Truth is stranger than fiction)
Roy Collette and his brother-in-law have been exchanging the same pair of pants as a Christmas present for 11 years - and each time the package gets harder to open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashed into a 3-foot cube. The trousers are in the glove compartment of a 1974 Gremlin. Now Collette's plotting his revenge--if he can get them out. It all started when Collette received a pair of moleskin trousers from his brother-in-law, Larry Kunkel of Bensenville, Ill. Kunkel's mother had given her son the britches when he was a college student. He wore them a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather and he didn't like them. So he gave them to Collette. Collette, who called the moleskins "miserable", wore them three times, then wrapped them up and gave them back to Kunkel for Christmas the next year.
The friendly exchange continued routinely until Collette twisted the pants tightly, stuffed them more...
SOHORTLY after her husband's death, the widow married her husband's brother. Hoping to avert smalltown criticism of such a hasty marriage, she hung a huge portrait of her late husband in the living room.
One day a visitor asked about the fine-looking man in the portrait. Dabbing away a tear with a hankie, she answered, "That's my poor brother-in-law. He died recently."