Philippines Jokes / Recent Jokes

The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion THE FINALISTS: Ms. America Ms. Spain Ms. Britain Ms. Iran Ms. India Ms. Philippines QUESTION: Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. AMERICA: Well, I would say that, male organs in America are like gentlemen. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening. (Applause.... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male more...

Why cant the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.

Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.

A Filipino guy from the Philippines arrived to the United States. He never knew how to speak English at all, none, just straight out Tagalog. His sister's husband, who was American born and did not know how to speak Tagalog, but can understand just a little bit of the language, picked up the Filipino guy from the airport. So they shook hands and introduced themselves to each other. So, they never talked to each other until they both got into the car to go home. So, while going home, the Filipino guy said, "carpentario ako sa Phillipinas," ( I'm a carpenter in the Philippines). His Filipino American born brother-in-law nodding his head, so the Filipino guy said, in Filipino, " Ikaw anong trabajo mo?" ( what do you do for a living). His brother-in-law said, "Poet," the Filipino then took out a handkerchief and began to wipe his brother-in-laws face, with a sad look. Note for the dense: The Filipino guy thought that his brother-in-law was a "PUET" more...