Philippines Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why cant the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.
A private high school north of the Philippines capital Manila has five teachers but only two students, a local newspaper reports.
The school, in the bustling city of Urdaneta, is allowed to stay open as the two students have grades that fulfill the requirements of a program for high schools specialising in science, the Philippines Star newspaper said.
The students, a boy and a girl, at the Special Science High School of the Lyceum Northwestern Florencia Duque College are taught in regular subjects like English, mathematics, science and music.
However, during their physical education lessons, they are limited to playing two-person games like badminton and chess.
Even if one student is absent, classes still proceed as scheduled, the newspaper said.
School administrator Arfe Castillo conceded that the situation was odd but said "we are assured we get 100 per cent participation".
You understand a lot of Tagalog, but can hardly speak it. Make fun of your parents' accents. As a child, you were totally embarrassed to eat spaghetti with sliced hot dogs in it. Now, there is absolutely no way you will eat spaghetti without the hot dogs. In fact, you suggest to your non-Filipino friends that hot dogs make spaghetti taste better. As a child, you hated being Filipino. Now, you wear Pinoy Pride T-shirts. You still wear Tsinelas (slippers). You still take off your shoes when entering a house. (Southern California) You've ever lived in Baldwin Park, Carson, Cerritos, the ghetto part of L. A., West Covina, Walnut or Diamond Bar. (Northern California) You've ever lived in Union City. You don't steal things (e. g., towels, soaps, tissues, cups) from hotel rooms like your parents did. And when you do take things, you deny that the action is not a Filipino trait. You don't care if a T-shirt was made in the Philippines or the USA. As long as it has a designer label on it, more...
A Filipino guy from the Philippines arrived to the United States. He never knew how to speak English at all, none, just straight out Tagalog. His sister's husband, who was American born and did not know how to speak Tagalog, but can understand just a little bit of the language, picked up the Filipino guy from the airport. So they shook hands and introduced themselves to each other. So, they never talked to each other until they both got into the car to go home. So, while going home, the Filipino guy said, "carpentario ako sa Phillipinas," ( I'm a carpenter in the Philippines). His Filipino American born brother-in-law nodding his head, so the Filipino guy said, in Filipino, " Ikaw anong trabajo mo?" ( what do you do for a living). His brother-in-law said, "Poet," the Filipino then took out a handkerchief and began to wipe his brother-in-laws face, with a sad look. Note for the dense: The Filipino guy thought that his brother-in-law was a "PUET" more...